responsive football poem

the following rules are published in the
National Football League’s
Digest of Rules
these rules
timing
that is…
the passage of time
during America’s game

Rule #1
The stadium game clock is official.
In case it stops or is operating incorrectly,
The Line Judge takes over the official timing on the field.

The stadium game clock is official.
In the case that it stops
Football fans would do well to
Give someone a ride home from the sports bar
Mentor a depressed teen
Raise money for aids or cancer research
Lobby for an improved national healthcare system
Donate football ticket money to world hunger relief

Rule #2
Each period is 15 minutes

during each of which
someone in America
will die
because
someone in America
went for a
drunk drive

Rule #3
On charged team time outs, the Field Judge starts watch and blows whistle after 1 minute 50 seconds, unless television does not utilize the time for commercial. In this case the length of the time out is reduced to 40 seconds.

The Field Judge starts watch
And blows whistle
Multi-million dollar
Commercials convince consumers
To buy more potato chips
While 9 people die of aids

Unless telivision does not utilize the time for a commercial
In this case the length of the time out is reduced to 40 seconds
During which time
The world waits as
Someone takes their own life

Rule 4
The Referee will allow necessary time to attend to an injured player, or repair a legal player’s equipment.

The Referee will not, however
Ask that player to spend some of his millions
Helping poor kids
Pay for healing their injuries
Or just helping them buy
The school supplies
They need

Rule 5
Each team is allowed three time outs each half.

each half a year
three million children
starve
to death

Rule 6
Time between plays will be 40 seconds from the end of a given play until the snap of the ball for the next play, or a 25-second interval after certain administrative stoppages and game delays.

Or a 25-second interval for an American to die of
artery stoppages and heart delays

Rule #7
Clock will start running when ball is snapped following all changes of team possession.

As we buy possessions
With money that could
Stop death…
Death’s clock doesn’t stop

Rule 8
With the exception of the last two minutes of the first half and the last five minutes of the second half, the game clock will be restarted following a kickoff return, a player going out of bounds on a play from scrimmage, or after declined penalties when appropriate on the referee’s signal.

There are penalties for overzealous involvement with games that cannot be declined

Rule 9
Consecutive team time outs can be taken by opposing teams but the length of the second time out will be reduced to 40 seconds.

Wars have no time-outs
With all these eternal battles begging to be fought football’s skirmishes are not Worth watching

Rule #10
When, in the judgment of the Referee, the level of crowd noise prevents the offense from hearing its signals, he can institute a series of procedures which can result in a loss of team time outs or a five-yard penalty against the defensive team.

When the noise of their entertainment prevents fans from going on the offensive against human suffering, someone must institute a series of procedures which can result in a loss of America’s game, America’s drug, America’s god

Football